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Wednesday, April 25, 2007

To keep or not to keep? (end)

After reading Mrs. Wallace Notes I realised I forgot to write something in my previous post. Another reason on top of whatever I had to keep the baby was the difficulty to conceive. I know a couple who tried for about 8 years and now they've signed up for adoption, and the waiting list is pretty long.

Even if you get lucky and managed to conceive, it is not easy to keep the embryo long enough to become a foetus. I saw this documentary, The Human Body by BBC (I highly recommend it), it's a six-part dvd that brings you from the time of conception to the time of death. I don't know the statistics but it's in there, there's a very high chance that you will lose the embryo and it will come out as your normal period and you wouldn't even know it. We did not plan for Ethan, but after knowing that it's not easy to conceive, we feel so lucky that he came to us.

Also, to be pregnant at the same time as my sis, that's another blessing. We had so much to talk about. Sharing the same experience at the same moment. What more could I ask for? Actually I could ask that we could be nearer. We could've shared the babies stuffs if we were near. Our due dates were about a month apart. I still remember people asking me what if the babies were born on the same day and I specifically said that it was impossible because one month is a big gap. How wrong was I! One month apart became one day apart. Who would've thought, not only did Ethan chose to came to us, he also chose to meet us earlier than he was supposed to. More details on that as I blog along.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

To keep or not to keep? (part 2)

September 2005

Sorry to keep the suspense, now let me continue. The only reason I could think of at that time to keep the baby was my age. I was not too young, mid-20s, I would say, just nice to have a baby. My baby would be that same age when I turn 50, so kinda can 'escape' earlier, maybe even become a grandparent if I'm lucky. Also, if I want to have more children then I could do it before I turn 35 (hopefully) with the age of the children spaced more widely apart. Most people say it's easier to have the children's age closer, so that they will have 'friends' and easier for the mum (and dad) to go through the hardships of childbearing (and childcaring) at the same time. But I'd still prefer it my way, financial reasons, for my husband's sake. It's already hard for him now to support all of us. Although, no one could tell the future. I do hope that the history of this little 'accident' won't repeat itself. I'd like the next one to be a planned one.

Back to the topic, I got an advice from a nice lady (it's too difficult to explain our relationship) who paid me a visit. She didn't know that she was giving me advice, she thought that she was just telling me her life story. To make her long story short, I'll just mention the parts that made me decide what I did. She has a son, about 18 years old that time and a daughter about 9 years old. Any curious person would ask about the big gap. She said that actually she just planned to have one child. She wanted to work and didn't want to be tied down. She didn't want to have another child also because of financial reasons. After many years she saw her son was lonely and then she realised all her reasons for not having another child was really selfish. And then it hit me. That word, 'selfish'. I made my mind up that instant.

Before her visit I was still unsure. I was weighing more towards keeping the baby although there weren't many reasons to support it. But not keeping the baby is a really big decision and I'd know that I'll regret it sometime in the future. It's throwing a life away, a life that's part me, part my husband. That's why I feel so blessed by her visit, it made me certain that keeping the baby is the decision I should make. No more being selfish. It's amazing how much power that one word has.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

First tag: All about Ethan

My first tag, well actually Ethan's first, but I get to write it. Got tagged from sis, the first time. Actually I think she tagged me once before I started this blog, wonder if that counts? So anyway now it's all about Ethan, here goes...

On the outside
Name: Ethan
Date of birth: 04 March 2006
Current status: Just started walking
Eye colour: Dark brown
Hair colour: Black
Righty or Lefty: I feed with both hands but I sign on my right (both hand and foot)
Zodiac: If Brandon's a Pieces then I'm a Pieces

On the inside
Heritage: Aussie-born-Chinese, of Cantonese and Hokkien
Fear: Nothing...yet!
Weakness: Mum-mum (food), I always go near whoever's eating
Your perfect pizza: ???

Yesterday, today & tomorrow
Your first thought waking up: Must use all measures to wake either mummy or papa up
Your bedtime: 7-8pm but I cry often when I'm too warm or when I want mummy or papa to pick me up and rock me back to sleep
Your most missed memory: ???

Your pick
Pepsi or Coke: Got milk?
Mackers or Hungry Jacks (aka McD's or Burger King): Any food is good but I've never tried these two
Single or Group Dates: ???
Adidas or Nike: Papa would prefer to buy Adidas for me
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Lipton Tea, never tried Nestea before
Chocolate or Vanilla: Either
Cappucino or Coffee: Haven't tried. Sounds like something my friend had, babycino...have yet to try

Do you...
Smoke: Mummy hopes not
Curse: Not yet

In the past month
Drank alcohol: I drink water everyday
Gone to the mall: This is my every week activity
Been on stage: Nope, never
Eaten sushi: Nope, never. Funny because papa is a Japanese cuisine chef
Dyed your hair: Nope, never

Have you ever
Played a stripping game: Love it!
Changed who you were to fit in: Fit in what?

Marriage
Are you hoping to be married: I'm wanted for two of papa's friend's daughters

In a guy/girl
Best eye colour: ???
Hair colour: ???
Short or long hair: ???

What were you doing
1 minute ago: ZZZzzz....
1 hour ago: Giving mummy a hard time
4 1/2 hour ago: Just gone zzzZZZ...
1 month ago: Should be ZzzZZ...
1 year ago: Definitely zZZZZzZzzzzzzZZ...

Finish the sentence
I love: to hear mummy makes funny animal sounds when she reads to me
I feel: excited to see papa walk in the door when he comes home from work
I hate: being confined, being strapped onto a seat (except car seat because car rides are fun and sleepy at the same time)
I hide: my eyes and mummy will say "BOO!"
I miss: going to prems playgroup on Thursdays
I need: attention most of the time because I knock my head too much

I didn't wanna be tagged because I've got no one to tag. But this was fun.

Friday, April 13, 2007

To keep, or not to keep? (part 1)

July 2005
When I first knew that I was pregnant, I was shocking surprised, not happy surprised. Eddie, my then fiancé, was happy surprised. He was ready to have a baby but I wasn't. To tell you the truth, I had thought of abortion. I even called up the place and made an appointment. I haven't decided then but the first available appointment was in two weeks. So I had that time to think. I don't know if it was fate or not but my sis just happened to tell me that she was pregnant like not too long ago. Asked a lot of opinions from her. Eddie of course wanted to keep the baby but he said he would let me decide.

The main thing that I kept thinking at that time was "Would we be able to support the baby?" I don't even have a job yet. The government do pay us A$3,000 per baby (until June 2006, additional A$1,000 for babies born July 2006) and child support in the form of family tax benefit. How much can that cover for? I know a baby is really expensive. Other reasons that kept me from having the baby are,

  • no more two-persons-world (yee yan sai gai) since once they are born they're gonna stick to us for at least another 18 years
  • we don't have much space to house the baby because we're renting a two-room and my brother was going to move in about 8 months and I didn't really like the condition of the house because I didn't think would be appropriate for a baby
  • whether we're able to cope taking care of the baby
  • who's looking after the baby if I decide to work
  • the pain in labour
  • the confinement stage after labour (I really cannot stand ginger!)
  • change in body shape and size
  • change in lifestyle

Basically that's all I could remember.

Well, sis told me not to write long post because it's faster to read so good for busy people. So, to know what made me made my decision, watch out for my next post...

to be continued...

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

The secret revealed

I had my reasons when I stopped blogging two years ago. Firstly I was lazy, I only blogged like once a month on my old blog. Didn't know what to write on my boring life. Didn't really have much contact with the outside world. I was looking for a job after uni, like for a year but to no avail, probably because I was picky. I was working part-time for Celebrity Catering, which does not have a lot of jobs for me, maybe once a week. They pay good money, at least A$60 per show. But I can't live on A$60 a week.

From my last blog, First blood donation, I mentioned that my weight was too much. And the secret was...pregnancy. I was pregnant! That's another reason I stopped blogging. Didn't really want my friends to know then, thought I wanna surprise them when I go back to KL with a baby. Not that ANY of my friends read my blog but didn't really wanna risk it (hahaha....excuses). Now that I think of it, I should've blogged about my pregnancy. It would make a good memory now. I had a really nice pregnancy with not much problems until towards the end, but I didn't really reach 'the end'. Keep visiting if you want to know what I mean by that. Hopefully I will remember much of it to be able to blog it down.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

First blood donation

July 2005
I've never donated blood before. Not only is the needle poked into your body but blood is drawn from it. I did a couple of body check ups and the first time the doctor actually poked me THREE times to get to my vein. Second time the doctor wasn't sure of poking me inside my elbow so she poked me on the back of my palm instead. People say it's more painful but I feel fine and after that I can bend my elbow, no problem. The point is that my vein is rarely visible which makes me unsure of letting others poking needle into my arm and drawing blood from me.

When I came to Adelaide to study, almost four years ago, I came with four friends. Two of them asked me to donate blood with them. I really want to but I'm just scared of getting poked more than once. I didn't know this but they told me that blood donors are the first priority to get blood transfusion if they're involved in an accident (or something like that). Also the Australian Red Cross used to give incentives for those blood donors, like first time donors get a key chain, second time get a pen, tenth time get this, and so on. It will at one point come to a gold coin.

It was not until two years after that that I got the courage to go make myself an appointment. They require you to drink a litre (or three glasses) of water or juice before the donation. Now that really is a tough thing for me because I'm not really much of a drinker. So I didn't actually drink the amount required when I went there. So they asked me to drink there and wait before they start the process. First they ask you to fill out a questionnaire about your health and then you must weigh yourself and write your weight at the top right of the questionnaire (embarrassing!). My weight is...TOO MUCH! (Had its reason which will be revealed)

The time has come. I was seated on a comfy reclined chair. A young lady came and had my arm tightened with a piece of cloth and started to look for my vein. She tried for a while on my left arm but failed so she changed side and tried my right arm instead. She wasn't really confident so she looked for a senior, more experienced person. He came, he started to look for my vein on my left arm. I remembered I told him, "It's very difficult to look for my vein," and he replied, "I'm not looking for it, I'm feeling for it," and felt my vein he did, within a minute and in the needle went. All I have to do now is wait. I forgot how long it took, but they got about 400+ml from me and it was over. And I thought, "That's it? That was easy."

I was then shown to another part of the building where there's a menu with a variety of snacks and drinks that I can choose from. My friends told me the hospital in KL only serve Milo and biscuits. Over here they have biscuits, yoghurt, muffins, sandwiches, Milo, Coke, juices, iced coffee/tea...etc. I had yoghurt and juice.

At the end of the day, I feel GOOD!

Names

It took me a while to start this blog because I couldn't think of a nice name for it. It's really difficult to think of a name for the URL because most catchy ones are already taken. And to think of a name that's related to what I'm going to write on this blog, that makes it two times harder. It's not that I have to get them related but I just want to. So anyway, www.woofwoof-arfarf.blogspot.com is dedicated to my baby boy who is born in the year of the Dog. The title of the blog just means that time is passing extremely fast ever since.

I have another blog which I used to write before this but I stopped when I got pregnant. So now I would really like to continue from there. Also would like to do some work at home that will earn me some cash. Sis is the one who gave me the idea to do this. Thanks!